Tuesday, March 15, 2005

A friend of mine commented for my letting my flat to a unit of women graphic artists that why you did not charge extra from them for using your flat by two people...... Ah, I should have told him earlier than I made up the rent...... laughed that I am so good landlord that I don't suck from my tenant.... but somewhere deep inside me I turned green at sudden realization the reason I don't suck. I don't suck because I can't suck. Simple. And I can't suck not because I am nice person but because I don't have much self-dignity that I am capable of keeping a certain human relationship with people when I say hard things to them. It seems I have a deep hidden fear that I can't be loved unless I stay in a easy parson for people... Though I don't mean I am going to suck someone really, so that I stay in fare and I am not sucked. Another direction for my adventure.