Monday, February 28, 2005

a little boring private talk

As I mentioned before, my younger sister who's been a part-time lecturer at some universities in Tokyo is going to get a lecturer position at a National University of a very northern city of Japan and I took this news rather negative....I mean wondered she was just running away from high competition in Tokyo. But listening her, I must have been wrong. have to say sorry to my sister. As she explained, she owes a pretty large amount of scholarship for her PhD study days she have to pay off later so if she works as a part-time lecturer or gets a position at some private collage in Tokyo she assume it the best she can get for her ( and I assumed No No) , she has to pay out her scholarship and pay her pension and social insurance by her own, But working for the National university, she can get a total exemption her scholarship!! and can have a cheep and good pension and social insurance to pay too!! She can use her money to be positive toward her future. Very impressed!
The reason I am impressed is ,,,, well I say here because this is not written by my native language, I have no worry to be found by my families..... Anyway it’s just a boring private story. Once upon a time ago, when she was an elementary school pupil, she was a top class study performance girl....I mean, though there are top class study performance kids the same number as the number of schools in the world, she was not a such local top but really a regular member of top 10 at a sort of private exams for elementary school pupils preparing for passing entrance exams for private middle schools. So, her elementary school teachers flattered her so much that her teacher came to our house secretly to tell that the school understands my sister is hard for her study, she can miss her homework, she can stay at home if she feels not good....crazy.... and mothers after mothers of Jewish mother type came to visit our mom to ask how to make children have such a good performance. Our mom was of course flattered over the moon!!! Ha. a happy insensitive creature she is. Then to me and to the rest of our family, it was nothing but the hell days. Almost every day, she scream-out aloud after midnight or early morning for the reason she could not finish what she planed to do.. Listening her psycho-like screaming I used pray if only our parents send her the mental hospital, never heard me though. Anyway she went to the best private junior school she aimed she still screamed-out often. By the time she got into the university, she became mild then became a not-fool but totally-kiddish behaving person of her taste, outlook, the way of talking and everything. Looking back these days from the point of now, I can't stop thinking what was the source of her energy which made her drive so hard working for her study. Must be not positive power. This same energy must be the one that drove her scream-out so much. Her scream-out was really energetic scream from her full body as if to break some invisible pressure....hell… I guess it must be the same energy that stopped her to behave as the adult. What’s this energy? But I also know she was trying things in complete seriousness. Listening her now, seems she passed through some dark tunnel and walks into the real world. Great job!I think I am witnessing very sample that people can change to the good way.