Monday, December 13, 2004

gloomy Sunday

As I am studying for the certificate exam next summer, I spend as much time in study room of the local library these days. This old local library, placed just off busy Takeshita street but wrapped by woods of Togo shrine, is very quiet and in peace with little people in and out. Although it's not easy job to up and down flights of stairs of this for-story plus an underground building with no lift and no escalator, it has complicated architectures as of good old building I love and I wish to be preserved forever yet loosing everyday from Tokyo.. . On the other hand, as homeless people drastically increased last some years, it has been not only local book lovers who came to this library but lots homeless or seemingly homeless people from Yoyogi park who find this library peace. These dirty and smelly men gather and chat at the small porch by the front door where a small pond is and some take the reading seat of the library with some magazines or some book like acts of Parliament... some even sit and sleep on the floor.....On the board of the voice from library user, There has been lots claim about these people but the response from the library was always they couldn't choose the library users for how they look. But it seemed the librarian stood up and now I see the librarian with guard armband walk around in the library more and more often.

So it was Sunday morning, it was cold and was occasionally cold winter rain. On the way to the library by my bike I was thinking there would be less book readers and more homeless who shade from the rain and cold in the library, and indeed I saw some people who looks like homeless people standing and bellowing each other at the front porch and my heart sunk. But it's not the homeless people's conversation. It was that the library stuff was attempting to get rid of some homeless from the library and these poor homelessness’ were trying to show their last holdout. The librarian was wealthy looking middle-aged and stood firmly wearing tick air of "I am justice, I am on the behalf of this library and all the innocent library users. I AM THE JUSTICE" and bellowed to those poor people as if to dogs, "go away, here is not the place for you, just go, go and no return!" These bellowed homeless people on the other hand, just stood there with their faces red of anger and eyes wide of sadness and desperation, and were desperately trying to say something to this man but no cool word enough to express their feeling came from their mouths.
Their angers, angers against this violation of their human dignity, and angers for desperation to themselves for having no word to express their anger and to comeback this librarian. It such hurts. As I am passing by the librarian to enter the library, the librarian glimpsed me with triumph smile, I see he must have been doing this job everyday for us, so maybe that was the effective way to do he found.
As I am the one of those who concern investigate, I often joke, if I lost, I would live in a shelter out of cardboard as homeless, I see women homeless often. But see. This is what is the looser is. Once lost, it not just about money and life style. No word against the violation of human dignity can come out. I won’t forget these homeless faces forever.